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The words I had heard in church, as a child came back to me, as I lay there in that hospital bed. Where Jesus touched people afflicted with disease & injury & they were healed. I believe that was what had happened to me, Jesus reached out from heaven & touched me. I'm not sure on why He did, I didn't feel I had anything coming, if anything, I figured I had nothing coming. But from that experience, I somehow knew everything would be all right. Severely burnt, crispy actually, but knew then I would be ok. I wanted & tried desperately to share the experience with anyone that would listen. But when I tried, each seemed to get a certain on their face, I guess they assumed I was either crazy or was under the influence of morphine. Soon, I stopped talking about it & kept inside me, the truth I now believed & my new found faith.
When I returned to this country, Jackie came over to see me; she was so horrified by my burned condition, which she ran from my house crying. She assumed that I'd be that way for the rest of my life. She never returned to my house nor did I see her over the next few months as I continued to heal. I learned from others that she had started to use drugs. I convinced myself into thinking, that perhaps, if I were to start using drugs she was using, I could catch up with her state of mind & recapture the relationship, it never happened. But I kept using all kinds of drugs, without even realizing or thinking about the harm they might cause.
I continued experimenting upon returning to active duty, with different drugs speed, LSD & mescaline. I was confident that nobody would ever be able to tell or suspect that I was under the influence of drugs. I believed that I could control the drugs. As time went on I became increasingly bitter towards the military, the war, my country & the government. I started to voice out my negativity about the war. Anyone that associated with me during that time was removed from that duty station. I was offered a 6-month early discharge, which I took without hesitation. I received an honorable discharge & headed for civilian life, ready for change. I dropped all my military possessions of uniforms, packed in a sea bag, just outside gates of Treasure Island & walked away.
When I returned home April 1970, I discovered that Jackie, was not only still using drugs, but was now involved with another guy. So on the rebound, I went out & located Donna, a girl that I had dated once, while I was on leave. We talked for a while & soon I made the discovery that she was with child. I felt compassion for her & the situation so I asked her to marry me. In May of 1970 we became husband & wife. Kimberly Ann was born Sept. 9,1970, she was a beautiful child. Immediately I fell in love with her, as my own daughter. Then in August 3,1971 Ernie Jr. was born. He was a little guy, premature & he died three months later. No explainable reason, crib death. I was suspicious that Donna had something to do with his death. Between those thoughts & grief from the loss, the relationship between Donna & myself, seemed doomed.
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